Saturday is a special day...

...It's the day we try desperately to get enough done as to not feel completely overwhelmed during the subsequent week.

So I'm planning a day of non-stop homework and studying. I have a ton to do this week, and everything will be made exponentially better if I at least get everything done due up to Wednesday. We'll see...

OH! So I am officially an official print journalism major in the official department of communications in the official school of fine arts and communications. Woo! I feel really good about this major, and I feel even more good about pairing it with philosophy. For the first time in a while, I feel like I'm figuring out my undergrad. Now I just need to get my GPA up and start studying for the GRE to make sure I get into a good grad school.

Also, I love that Provo is being cool and staying warm so far this fall. Thanks Provo!

Whenever there is rain

So the last three weeks have been pretty miserable for me. I've felt pretty lonely and distant from those around me, and I've been completely overwhelmed with the amount of school work I've had. I'm also falling back into that unhealthy compulsive perfection I seem to get myself into every once and a while.

About an hour ago, I got a less-than-desirable grade on a midterm.

So I walked out of the testing center into the rain. The rain. Probably the most metaphorical symbol of despair I can possibly think of. But I had remembered a blog post I read recently on a friend's blog about how one day when she was walking home from campus in a rain storm, trying to stay dry, she noticed another girl who openly accepted the rain by letting herself be soaked by it. This influenced my friend to open up to it, too.

So that's what I did. I closed my umbrella, put down my hood, and pushed up my jacket sleeves. Right after I did this I looked to my left and saw the biggest, most vibrant rainbow I had ever seen in my life arching over Y Mountain. I pulled out my cell phone for pictures, which simply do not do it justice.


I immediately though of the first line to a primary hymn: "I like to look for rainbows whenever there is rain."

God blesses me with so many good things, so many rainbows, that I simply overlook. Sometimes it takes loneliness, anxiety, and rain for me to notice all of these blessings. I just have to be willing to open up to these blessings, especially when there's rain.

Prince Charming

I wrote this a while ago. It's not great, but I thought it was pretty good for what it is.

I'm not waiting for prince charming.
Prince charming is supposedly going to rescue me,
but I don't need to be rescued;
I'm quite good at rescuing myself,
thankyouverymuch.
I'm not waiting for prince charming because
I like smart, witty, and sarcastic,
and charming is overrated.
I'm not waiting for prince charming.
I'm waiting for prince flawed,
Prince imperfect,
Prince vulnerable,
to share in my flaws, imperfections, and vulnerabilities.
(Because, let's be honest, I'm no princess.)
I'm not waiting for prince charming.
I am, however, waiting for someone.
Someone to love me more than he loves himself;
Someone to be young with;
Someone to be old with;
Someone to spend eternity with;
Someone with whom I will create worlds and universes without number,
In a perfect, beautiful, egalitarian eternity.

General RS Broadcast

Can I just say that I really, really enjoyed the Relief Society broadcast last night?

I got home from studying on campus at about 5:30, and caught some of the football game on tv. One of my roommates informed me that the broadcast started at 6 (I had forgotten about it entirely), and I was admittedly a little upset that I was going to miss the rest of the game for what I thought was going to be more rhetoric along the lines of: My dear sisters, we need to be better wives/mothers. We need to support our husbands/priesthood leaders. Mothers who know have scrapbooks for all 10 of their children. (Just kidding, I love sister Beck.)

However, I was very pleased with all of the talks and their subject matter. No calling to repentance. No implications of seperate by equal with men. No guilt. Just women talking about being women. And President Eyering's talk on the importance of the history of Relief Society? Golden.

I have to say, however, Sister Thompson gave the best one.

Feeling Connected

One thing I've always loved about being alive is being outdoors. Experiencing God's creation as He intended it can be beautiful and grounding. I grew up with family summer vacations consisting of camping, and with two boy scout brothers and a boy scout dad, I was instilled very young with a wonderful awe and respect for nature.

Think about the Gospel, and how many important events happened in the stillness of nature: Joseph's prayer in the Sacred Grove, Christ's atonement in the Garden of Gethsemane, and Adam and Eve's Celestial-like life in the Garden of Eden. I have a very firm belief that God uses the beauty and power of nature to help us feel more connected to Him.

Tonight I had the opportunity to go to Provo Canyon for a bonfire and marshmallow-roasting a professor of mine put together for his class. Feeling the damp grass between my toes while looking up at the stars (something I don't get in the city), I experienced that feeling of connectedness with God.

Sometimes I feel closer to God when I'm in nature than I do anywhere else. I'm reminded of a line in my favorite book, The Poisonwood Bible:

"Do you think God wrote it all down in the English King James Himself? When I want to take God at His word, I take a peep out the window at His creation. Because that, darling, He makes fresh for us daily, without a lot of dubious middle managers."

An update in bullet points

• I love school. I can't imagine doing anything else with my life right now.
• Said goodbye to a good friend last night. Sad.
• I finally got my rain boots, but I don't have any jeans that are tight enough to wear with them, so I have to wait to wear them.
• Only a little behind in reading.
• Going way outside of my comfort zone on Wednesday. Details to come.
  

Birthday

So, yesterday was my birthday. And, honestly, I couldn't have asked for a better birthday weekend.

Friday night: vegetarian potluck/co-birthday party with Alyne. Probably the best potluck the club has had thusfar.
Saturday: lunch with old roommates, manicure, Timpanogos storytelling festival with friends, and BYU beat OU.
Sunday: totally chill. Read a lot, watched some movies, and discovered that my new favorite movie is Phoebe in Wonderland. Also, Cait and Tim had their baby on my birthday. How rad is that.
Today: no school