Life lesson #45819567

Owning mistakes and self-deprecation are not mutually inclusive.

It would have been nice to figure this out sooner.

Babies

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7aCZUb_dUGA&feature=popt00us14

Doesn't this look adorable?! And it looks so well-made too. I can't wait for it to come out.

I've been thinking a lot lately about babies. I wrote my term paper for my Philosophical Writing class on the medicalization of childbirth, and a few of my friends/family have recently had babies/are pregnant. I also think that being in Provo has definitely heightened my maternal instinct. I was once very anti-having babies. But it seems now that there are so many resources available for women to have kids and be good moms and go to graduate school and have a career. Honestly, I'm kind of looking forward to it.

Worth causing a stir?

So when I need to go to the Wilk and I'm south of it, I usually shortcut through the bookstore. I usually walk a little slower past the books just to see if anything will catch my eye, and there's one book that, every time I pass by it, makes me kind of uncomfortable.

It's written by an LDS author, and (put most simply) it's about a woman in an abusive relationship. But the cover is what gets me. This book is being sold by glorifying a scared woman with a man's hand covering her mouth. Perhaps I'm oversensitive, and perhaps maybe the publishers of this book aren't sensitive enough. I would like to think that a story about a woman in a violent relationship would employ a more empowering cover--representing her freeing herself from that relationship. But no. This publishers use the actual violent aspect of the relationship as the "good" part, the part that will sell books.

But here's the thing. I'm all about spreading awareness about domestic violence. I think women in bad situations can connect with characters, even fictional characters, in similar situations and find empowerment. I'm sure reading this book may help some woman find a way out of her violent relationship. But the cover. The cover.

So I'm considering writing a letter to the BYU Bookstore and the publishers of the book. To the bookstore: pull the book. To the publishers: consider printing it with a different cover.

What do you think?

INTJ

I took the Myers-Briggs test recently, and turns out I'm INTJ: Introverted, iNtuitive, Thinking, Judging. Apparantly INTJ's account for 1-4% of the population, and we're characterized as "masterminds." After reading about the characteristics of INTJ's, it's kind of scary how much they describe me. Here's some bullet points about INTJ's:

• We have a quiet self-confidence, and others may see this as simple arrogance.
• We know what we know, and we know what we don't know. (I will tell you straight up that I know how systematized, formal logic works, but I couldn't tell you a thing about engineering.)
• We are typically perfectionists, but are rather pragmatic about what we're perfectionists about. We constantly ask ourselves if what we're doing is worth doing.
• We can't stand irresponsibility and slackers. If you aren't living up to your commitments, we lose a lot of respect for you. This includes both peers and superiors.
• We typically like to stay in the background in group settings, but if we see a need for better leadership, we'll step up.
• We are inherently socially unconventional, but we simulate some form of conformity to get along with people.
• We have little patience for irrational social rituals, such as small talk and flirting, and we prefer people to just make sense.
• We are typically very private and naturally impassive.
• While we have a lot of confidence in our knowledge and abilities, we have little confidence when it comes to interpersonal relationships.
• When we do connect with someone, we're willing to put a lot of time and effort into developing and fostering relationships, and are characterized by good communication skills.
• We have a low tolerance for spin and rampant emotionalism.
• We work best independently and when given creative freedom, and we enjoy spending time working out unique solutions to complex problems.
• We have a strong desire to express ourselves through our own intellectual designs.
• Because of our naturally private nature, non-INTJ's may see us as distant and reserved.
  

Things I've Been Doing with My Life

Two weekends ago, I went to Biola University (Bible Institute of Los Angeles) with some friends for an interfaith Mormon/Evangelical dialogue and conference. It was pretty cool. They had some scholars, both LDS and Evangelical, speak. I definitely learned a lot about Evangelicals and why we’ve always had a rocky history with them. One thing one speaker said really made sense: Evangelicals focus a lot on how the Bible makes rational sense, whereas Mormons focus more on personal experience with the Holy Ghost, and this is the biggest obstacle to overcome on both sides. However, apparently there’s this move from modernism to post-modernism among Evangelicals where more people want to rely on the Holy Ghost. Pretty interesting stuff. I’ve been going to some local interfaith dialogues with some friends in Provo, too. I think being able to explain your beliefs and why you believe them to someone else is really good for reinforcing them in your mind. I’m kind of also realizing how much I still need to know before I go on a mission. The dialogues were a little intimidating; sitting at a table with people whose nametages read "Biola," "Fuller Theological Seminary," and "Wheaton College" was definitely a wake up for me to know and understand as much LDS Theology as possible.

I have an interview on the 9th to be an EFY counselor in San Antonio. I'm way excited for that, and I hope I do well enough for them to want me. I remember EFY being a really good experience for me, and I want to help other kids have a good experience, too. Who knows, maybe I'll have some misfit 17-year-old in my group who listens to weird music and doesn't really care about school, and I can help her realize that you CAN be yourself AND be follower of Christ. I did it, so anyone can.

I've been working on a paper that I'm submiting to BYU's Religious Education Student Symposium. I wrote it last semester in my Mormon Women's History class, and I've been adding to and editing it for submission. It's on the influence of the Relief Society Magazine on the standardization of LDS Female Culture. Should you ever find yourself in Periodicals in the BYU library, look through issues of the RS Magazine. It's such a trip.

One and a half more weeks of school left. Today's my last official day of Thanksgiving break, and I'm a little overwhelmed with everything I have to get done (4 philosophy classes=papers from heck), but I'm excited to go home for Christmas.

Saturday is a special day...

...It's the day we try desperately to get enough done as to not feel completely overwhelmed during the subsequent week.

So I'm planning a day of non-stop homework and studying. I have a ton to do this week, and everything will be made exponentially better if I at least get everything done due up to Wednesday. We'll see...

OH! So I am officially an official print journalism major in the official department of communications in the official school of fine arts and communications. Woo! I feel really good about this major, and I feel even more good about pairing it with philosophy. For the first time in a while, I feel like I'm figuring out my undergrad. Now I just need to get my GPA up and start studying for the GRE to make sure I get into a good grad school.

Also, I love that Provo is being cool and staying warm so far this fall. Thanks Provo!

Whenever there is rain

So the last three weeks have been pretty miserable for me. I've felt pretty lonely and distant from those around me, and I've been completely overwhelmed with the amount of school work I've had. I'm also falling back into that unhealthy compulsive perfection I seem to get myself into every once and a while.

About an hour ago, I got a less-than-desirable grade on a midterm.

So I walked out of the testing center into the rain. The rain. Probably the most metaphorical symbol of despair I can possibly think of. But I had remembered a blog post I read recently on a friend's blog about how one day when she was walking home from campus in a rain storm, trying to stay dry, she noticed another girl who openly accepted the rain by letting herself be soaked by it. This influenced my friend to open up to it, too.

So that's what I did. I closed my umbrella, put down my hood, and pushed up my jacket sleeves. Right after I did this I looked to my left and saw the biggest, most vibrant rainbow I had ever seen in my life arching over Y Mountain. I pulled out my cell phone for pictures, which simply do not do it justice.


I immediately though of the first line to a primary hymn: "I like to look for rainbows whenever there is rain."

God blesses me with so many good things, so many rainbows, that I simply overlook. Sometimes it takes loneliness, anxiety, and rain for me to notice all of these blessings. I just have to be willing to open up to these blessings, especially when there's rain.