Sunday, July 31, 2011

Counting Down

I spend way too much of my time counting down.

Counting down until school starts. Counting down until my last day of school. Counting down until I leave for Washington. Counting down until I get on a plane back home. Counting down until he gets home. Counting down until...okay you get it.

I think this is because I'm never satisfied with the present. I've acknowledged this and am trying to get better at it. At any given point in time, we only have one present. It is logically impossible to make the present move any faster, so why can't I appreciate it more?

Tonight I was trying to appreciate the present. It was a nice Sunday night, I was hanging out in my pajamas doing productive things like laundry and cleaning my bathroom. For a while I was enjoying myself, but then I lost focus and found myself dwelling on, "Only 5 more days of work and I'm done. Tomorrow is my last Monday. Just one more Monday to get through."

Counting down seems to be my default with my present-enjoying being a conscious decision. I really am trying to figure out how to switch the two. I've been good lately with spending my evenings after work doing things I enjoy rather than dreading another day of work coming up. I know that my current phase of counting down until Utah will only ultimately yield in more counting down until something else after I get there. Or maybe I can make my pre-fall semester countdown my last.

1 comment:

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