Sunday, July 26, 2009

Not anti social, just shy

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately. For some reason, I've lost my ability to make friends, at least the way everyone else makes friends. I don't know what happened in between high school and college. Maybe during the whole adaptation to a college life, I lost my ability to be social and comfortable and secure. Sometimes I overdo it, try to seem too outgoing, and end up regretting it later because I'm sure the people I was with thought I was a complete tool. Or I underdo it and fear people think I'm arrogant rather than plain shy.

So I've gone through two years of school with plenty of acquaintances, but I want to make -real- friends this year. People to call and hang out with. People to do stuff with. People who invite me to parties. So I was thinking it would be a good idea to make a list of things I could do to put more effort into making friends.

1. Be willing to put myself in situations where I can meet people
2. Take more of an interest in other people
3. Smile more
4. Remember that people are just people; no one thinks I'm weird by default, and everyone is up for making new friends
5. Introduce myself to people I sit next to in classes
6. Stop fearing rejection
7. Take initiative and invite other people to do things
8. Find small things that make me happy; if I'm in a good mood, I'm more likely to be friendly
9. Don't seem desperate for friends (even though I really am)
10. Pray for help with all of this

"And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud became more painful than the risk it took to blossom." --Anais Nin


Holly Noelle @ Domestic Dork said...

Somewhere along the line I got really shy too. It's just been in the last few months that I'm starting to sort of make progress a little

Denis said...

It's really hard for me to make friends too! I ditto your list; they are some of the same things I do to help me become more out-going. I also believe that there's something I can learn from each individual around me. It helps me talk to people and learn more about them. Lisa and I would love to have you over more often! You could teach us some good vegetarian meals :)

Amy said...

You can do it Shelley! I believe in you.